I Was Tagged!

By Melissa
I like tags… but I don’t tag people. Oddly enough others do not care for it.
So… I don’t tag. Melissa asked me these Questions:

1. Best thing that happened to you when you were 20 years old?
20? Geez that was a long time ago. I was pregnant with EudoraMae so I’ve to go with that. It was a rough time personally with my ex EarlLee cheatin’ on me and we didn’t have a home. I wanted to die but I was pregnant and had a 18 month old to take care of so I guess you could say those little girls saved my life.
2. When did you lose your virginity?
I was 14. It was not fun at all. The second time 4 months later was much better.
3. Favorite board game as a child and why?
Monopoly and Chinese checkers
4. Target or Walmart?
I like Target but it is not handy so I shop at HellMart a lot.
5. The worst date you've been on was to where?
Ok so this one time I was on a “date” with this guy that took me down a dirt road and we had sex on the trunk of his car in the moonlight.
Oh! I know so romantic!
I was sittin’ there while he was goin’ at it like it was the end of the world, thinkin’ “is he even in there?” 
Maybe if I move down a bit… still nothing. huh?
Is he usin’ his finger?
Is he standin’ in a hole?
And then there were moans, groans, and fireworks… for him. And he was done.
Huh?
“I’ll have to check this out a bit better… OMG!”
His penis was thumb size!!!
Not his… mine!!!!!
6. What are two TV shows you do not miss, ever?
Justified and Survivor… though after the last season of Survivor I may rethink my passion.
7. Which would you rather receive: Chocolates or flowers?
Flowers… I can buy a candy bar but I never think about buying myself flowers.
8. Have you ever left your house without underwear on? Details, if so (LOL)!
Of course I have. Roy and I make bets and I lose and so… we went to the mall. I went up the escalator while he stood at the bottom so he could look up my dress. He was not alone!
And once, I gave my panties to him while I was at work. I wore skirts all the time so it wasn’t so hard to take them off.  He gave them back when we got married.
9. Have you ever visited Mount Rushmore?
Yes I have. I been there twice. Once outside the gates and was run off by a park ranger and once actually inside the park with my grandparents on the vacation trip to Hell.
The first time, I was with a biker and he wasn’t playin’ by the rules so the park ranger and he butted heads. I just can’t take Roy anywhere!
10. Do you know a second language... if so, which one?
Dumbass Okie!
11. What is your favorite color?
Red… of course!
11 Random Things About Me:
1) Ruffles the Alligator Snapping Turtle is 1 year old. We feed that thing $30 in fish a week!!!
2) I think my hub has forgotten our wedding anniversary.
3) It’s Wednesday and I have NOT reminded him like normal. It’s a test. Will he pass or fail?
4) We are actually growing as a couple. We started a major project together with out a knock down drag out! Progress. 18 years… progress is slow.
5) I’ve become a lazy blogger. I just don’t have the material like I had in the past.
6) I am havin’ trouble comin’ up with 11 random things.
7) Oh. Our project… we… Roy is diggin’ a storm shelter. I don’t dig.
8) Still thinkin’. It’s been 10 minutes since #6.
9) See. This is why I don’t blog more often. Nothing to say. And when there is nothing… how the hell do you put a funny spin on nothing??
10) Wait. Is my anniversary on Wednesday? Or is it on Thursday?? Shit! How can I be mad at Roy if I can’t even remember it?? Oh. I can do it. I do mad.
11) The Weddin’ Photo… we were married in Arkansas… by a photographer.



Link Up with the ladies.
Impulsive Addict
Shawn
Stacy

A Smatterin’ Of Crap…

Lots to say so let’s get started!!

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My Grandson was in the play Music Man as a River City Kid!! He was so cute!! I am so Proud Of Him. He tried out for the lead Boy signin’ “If I only had a brain” from the Wizard of Oz… we are big Wiz of OZFans!! But… Not the lead. Still he danced, sang, turned cartwheels, and GiGi was just as proud as if it had been on Broadway instead of a play at School!

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Thinkin’ about changin’ my domain from Velvettush.blogspot.com to Velvettush.net. When I tried, right after I bought it, I was “locked out” and that’s a terrible feelin’!! so I’m slow and hesitant to try again.

I hate the man that bought the .comversion of Velvettush. I hate you long time!

Yes, a man bought it. JackAss!!

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I really hate when I do stupid things… sober. Nothin’ to blame.

“Oh! She’s just drunk! That’s all!!” but no. I do stupid shit stone cold sober.

Recently, I pulled a bottle of BBQ sauce from the fridge and went to shake it up… the lid flies off and BBQ sauce goes all over the floor, the table, my sewin’ stuff, and worse of all… Scooter!

Have you ever seen a cat give you the look of “What the Fuck?”

He gave me one. Licked his fur. Looked at me again like, “Woman! Get This Shit Off!”

So no photos of that. He was not a happy camper!

Though, he looked a lot like that!

When I told Roy about the incident, he just smiled. “I live with a woman that WILL not screw lids on bottles, It’s what happens.”

Tell that to Scooter!!

Then maybe a day or 2 later, I was makin’ taco seasonin’ from one of those Pinterest ideas.  I swear to All That is Good and Holy that when I looked in the cabinet to grab the bottle of cumin that I saw cumin and added it to the mixture of spices…. I swear I saw ground cumin!!

It was ginger!

I didn’t realize it until after the fact and started cussin’ a blue streak! Roy came runnin’ in the kitchen to make sure I hadn’t cut myself… again. “Have you been drinkin’?”

“no! just stupid! Again!!”

Let me just say, I have used this mixture of chili powder, onion powder, garlic powder, and GINGER in some stir fry… not too bad.

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And now to leave you with some super good news… Becuz I do drink…

I was selected to be Mixologist of the Month of May at Kinky Liqueur on Facebook!!

For my kinky lemonade recipe!!! Thank you so much, Janette!

She said I should submit it and I did!! I’m so thrilled!!

Oh crap!! the photo I sent to them is trapped in the other PC and it’s dead. Too many storms or something! I’m sure I did something stupid… Again!! It’s got to go to the Nerds.

So to see my shinin’ face as Mixologist you have to follow the link!

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Link up with my gals, Shawn and Impulsive Addict!

And Link Up with Stacy!!

 

All the ladies are great  and they  will come by and say hello when you linkup!! I have made some super great friends!!

Small Favor Needed!!!

Very simple… Go To Facebook Kinky Liqueur Page and like the post about wanting to know what the new cocktail of the month is.. I tried to link it up but you know me… I’m not a bottle rocket scientist. The closest I can get you is to Kinky Liqueur’s page! 

I Hope!

I know you love me so do it.

I have so much to tell you but the power was off so I’m way behind.

Much Love, Big Hugs, and Too Much Tequila!!

 

Or in this case… Get Kinky!!

Friends, Friemnies, And Boundaries…

I’m linkin’ up with Shawn, Impulsive Addict, and Stacy Uncorked… She does Random Tuesday Thoughts. All Cool Chicks!!

I have been kickin’ this around in my head for weeks now, I don’t know how to put it all into words. All the new people that now come here would be totally lost. All of my peeps that have been here since the beginning of The VelvetTush know… But I’m just gonna ramble. You’ll get the idea.

I had a friend. One that would give a kidney if she needed it.

Well. I’m keepin’ the kidney! She can just fuck off!

She has a husband that is such a control freak that HE PLANS MY COOKOUTS!! AT MY HOUSE!! He was invitin’ people over based on those with hot wives that he wanted to see nekked! He want to perv on all the wives… Well, I fixed his little red wagon, and got him drunk and showed him just exactly what that looks like to have a man perv on HIS WIFE.

Lesson learned!

He tells her where she can go and what she can do. He tells her what to wear. Who she can be friends with… which isn’t me!

I have tried to break away from them for 2 years now but as Roy works with the Asshole, it’s not been easy to do.

She felt she could call Roy whenever she wanted, to ask him to come over to her house to do things for her that her husband wouldn’t do or was to chickshit to do… he will not climb up on the roof.

Or she would text Roy anytime.

On his birthday, she called him.

On my birthday, she left a message on Facebook.

Which leads me to this, she and her hub would tell Roy what I put on my status or would say to others, becuz they felt he didn’t know. Some he did. Some he didn’t. But all harmless.

I knew that they were doing this, so I baited them time and time again, with them tellin’ Roy each and every time. But again, Roy knew. And we laughed at their stupidity.

Over the years, I have asked her to come with me to the gym, and she never did. I have been thinkin’ about takin’ a Zumba class and saw that my gym had posted photos of the class. Guess who was in the class?? She didn’t ask me to join her!! But best of all, her hub didn’t know she was in the class either!!!

And I’m glad that I had nothing to do with that!!

But.

For some reason, after that incident, those two told Roy a lie. It’s one thing for them to tell him things that I do but to make up shit and tell him… them’s fightin’ words!!!

I wasn’t laughin’ at them now. I’m ready to strap on my dildo for battle becuz someone is gettin' fucked up!!

I stirred the pot some more on Facebook… which prompted calls from family and REAL friends as to what was going on… And then I unfriended her.

She sent me a text: “You’ve unfriended me again. what have I don’t now? lol” And she added, “Facebook is the only way I keep up with you.”

What?? She seems to be able to call my man but she can’t call me??? or text me???

Bitch!! She’s taller than me and has 30 pounds on me but I will drop an elbow on her.

I’m not laughin’: “You and your hub tell Roy things I’ve said, thinking he doesn’t know. I don’t need that kind of friend. I tell the world EVERYTHING why would you think he wouldn’t know. He is the center of my world. how dare you think I would hurt him.”

The end of a friendship.

Period.

Roy has deleted all phone numbers from his phone that belong to THAT family except that asshole’s becuz he needs it for work. And as far as I know nothing has been said to him at work about the whole thing.

I’m sure that Asshole is tickled pink I’m not speakin’ to his wife.

Spin Cycle… CockTails!!

Ok so this one time, this guy had me on the trunk of his car…

Wrong kinda Cock Tales!!

I’ve told you how to make great Margaritas… and salsa.

I’ve told you how to infuse booze with fruit… which reminds me I have some in the fridge I need to strain. Green Apple that has been soakin’ vodka since September!

And I have shared with you my very own concoction Kinky Lemonade.

So Now I will share with one of my favorite shots! I’m all about the shots! I found this recipe in a book, and I have no idea where the book has got to… upstairs in TheMuseum.

Italian Stallion: Equal parts Amaretto to Gin.

Simple! It’s warm and tastes yummy!

I make it with 1/2 of each. After about 4 shots, life is really mellow.

Link Up with The Spin Cycle and share your favorite cocktail recipe.